Baby Steps with Mandarin

When deciding upon Shanghai as a destination I reached a comfortable ambivalence when it came to learning the Chinese language; or to be specific, learning Mandarin. Universally one thing is known about Mandarin, that it is hard to learn. People who know nothing about China somehow know the language is akin to some form of verbal calculus. Additionally, China has about 5 main languages and they don't mesh smoothly. A country the size of the US with many diverse cultural histories and 1.5 billion people is bound to have some differences. The government has decided that language heritage is not a high priority and that everyone in China needs to speak Mandarin. Still a language know as Shanghaiese dominates in Shanghai (not surprisingly) and Mandarin is seen as a business, work and otherwise kind of uncool language. Knowing these things made the thought of learning Mandarin, or any Chinese language, simultaneously daunting and uninspiring.

About 5 minutes after getting off the plane my ambivalence faded into the hazy sky. My ride was late and the thought of hailing a taxi and traveling over an hour with my non existent communication skills made me hungry for the convenience of speech. For all it's internationalism, Shanghai is still China, and China is confusing. Especially if you can't understand anyone. So I sat and waited and wondered and felt helpless. I hate feeling helpless.

So I set about learning. I can now count to 10, say good morning and tell a cab driver I want to go somewhere. They are humble beginnings but I'm quite proud of them.

There is one wild card helping me quite a bit. I don't mind making a fool of myself. Actually, I quite enjoy taking actions that others might find embarrassing, bold, silly or unorthodox. They don't make me feel like a fool, they amuse me. Without this trait I wouldn't survive my chosen career as a middle school teacher. So to defeat my helplessness I have begun parroting people incessantly. When I hear Chinese I parrot it. Never mind that I'm clueless as to whether I'm hearing Mandarin or Shanghaiese, I find this a fun way to pass the time. It is not hard to overhear the language. The Chinese are loud talkers, and the volume quadruples if there is a cell phone involved. It makes wonder about hearing loss and if it is common problem in China. When the volume soars to a near scream I listen and I quietly repeat it. When I talk with a local and they say something that leaves me clueless, like anything that isn't the numbers 1-10 or good morning, I repeat it like an five year old oscillating between cute and annoying.

Amazingly this parroting is highly entertaining to people. I'm really trying to sound accurate and not patronize but my mouth is not used to these funny sounds and the resulting noises amuses travelers, expats and Chinese locals equally. This is especially true with the tones, which I am determined to master and which are also baffling at this point. It seems logical that the descending tone would descend but I just don't hear it. So I give my best effort at repetition and I get laughs like I'm Jerry Sienfeld. I love it! Maybe someday the I'll get used to the volume and then start hearing the tones and people will stop laughing. And then I will be sad.